May in Montana

Southern Montana. May 26, 2013.  The rain continued at my campground in Craig near Helena, but the mountains received more snow. The verdant countryside encircled by white powder made for a picturesque drive down to SE Idaho.

As I travel between rivers with thinking time, I realize that I am actually giddy from my adventures. I feel somewhat disoriented at the same time desperate to remember all the details of each day.  I tell myself that I must be assimilating everything and certainly hope this is happening. I can compare this to the growth and development of my five grandchildren. With visits spread out 3-4 months, the changes I see in them are profound, whereas their parents are unable to see the changes happening in such a dramatic way. I feel like a parent with myself right now.

Back in the 90’s I spent a summer in southern France trying to master my French. I studied four mornings a week and then took two full day field trips to various places throughout the region. As I sat on the airplane to return home, I felt completely transformed – my attitude, my daily habits, my dress – and I fantasized that no one would recognize me. Of course I reintegrated myself within weeks to my old life – children, work, chores but I was left with a feeling of empowerment. I can change course when necessary and learn to love anew.

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