Southern Montana. May 26, 2013. The rain continued at my campground in Craig near Helena, but the mountains received more snow. The verdant countryside encircled by white powder made for a picturesque drive down to SE Idaho.
As I travel between rivers with thinking time, I realize that I am actually giddy from my adventures. I feel somewhat disoriented at the same time desperate to remember all the details of each day. I tell myself that I must be assimilating everything and certainly hope this is happening. I can compare this to the growth and development of my five grandchildren. With visits spread out 3-4 months, the changes I see in them are profound, whereas their parents are unable to see the changes happening in such a dramatic way. I feel like a parent with myself right now.
Back in the 90’s I spent a summer in southern France trying to master my French. I studied four mornings a week and then took two full day field trips to various places throughout the region. As I sat on the airplane to return home, I felt completely transformed – my attitude, my daily habits, my dress – and I fantasized that no one would recognize me. Of course I reintegrated myself within weeks to my old life – children, work, chores but I was left with a feeling of empowerment. I can change course when necessary and learn to love anew.